There are some places in the fictional universe that you would never want to go. While these locations can be absolutely stunning and exciting on screen, life there would be hell. These places are so bad you wouldn’t even want to stop off for gas there, since you probably wouldn’t make it out alive. Unlike last week’s Coolest Places to Live in Fiction, there are so few redeeming qualities about these places that even if someone paid you to go there, you should probably pass.
Remember, these places may be awesome to visit on screen, but we’re looking at actually living in these places.
Hill Valley (Back to the Future)
Hill Valley doesn’t seem like a very nice place to live. It’s architects obviously had greater goals in mind than the rundown city it became in 1985. But that’s the least of your worries if you’re a Hill Valley resident. Unless you’re Marty McFly or Doctor Emmett Brown, your life is constantly being screwed up. One minute, you’re in a relatively decent neighborhood, the next, you’ve got bars on the windows, live next to a shotgun-toting principal, and answer to that butthead Biff Tannen. Your memories, career path, and even the existence of your children can all be erased or altered just because a teen and his crazy mentor decide to mess with time for reasons that don’t concern you in the least!
Mordor (The Lord of the Rings)
This one’s a bit obvious. All charred rock and volcanic ash, Mordor is hardly ideal for even the orcs and goblins that live there. Take into account that billowing volcano smoke blocks out all sunlight and the only light source you’re left with is liquid hot magma and the spotlight of a giant flaming eye (your interpretation may vary). Not even the orcs can coexist here. If you disguise yourself well enough to fit in, you may still get a knife in the ribs from a goblin that is Team Saruman when you’re all decked out in Team Sauron.
Raccoon City (Resident Evil 2 & 3)
A carbon copy of New York, but without any of interesting attractions, this place only got put on the map (and then wiped off it via nuclear blast) when it was overrun by zombies. And not just zombies either. The sewers are filled with humongous alligators and giant mutating evil scientists are constantly trying to eat your brains. Top that off with Nemesis, a hulking, rocket launcher-wearing behemoth that can bust down your door with a swing of the arm. Police, military, and mercenaries aren’t even tough enough to survive Raccoon City. Even if you’re desperate for a zombie apocalypse in the real world, this would be the last place you would want to make your last stand.
LV-426 (Alien Series)
Even after Weyland-Yutani decided to colonize this place and make its atmosphere breathable, LV-426 is still the vilest outpost in the Universe. Does this place even orbit a star? It constantly seems to be storming and every inch of ground looks as though it’s been struck by lightning a hundred times. And that doesn’t even cover the derelict ship nearby and the face-hugging, brain-chomping Xenomorphs inside that are just itching for an outbreak. Even if you survive their onslaught (they mostly come out at night, mostly), you may get vaporized when your colony’s nuclear reactor goes critical. Game over, man! Game over!
Mega-City One (Judge Dredd)
A shining example of the idea that bigger is not necessarily better. Mega-City One is a gigantic city-state covering the Eastern Seaboard in the wake of world-devastating nuclear war. Now, The Judges patrol this massive, walled-off city and its approximately 800 million residents stuffed into multi-mile-high apartment blocks. With crime rampant in every part of Mega-City One, these officers are judge, jury, and executioner, so don’t get on their bad side. Urban sprawl, urban decay, it’s all here! If that weren’t bad enough, supernatural forces of evil like the Dark Judges bust out of the underworld every so often to destroy as many lives as possible. Every few years, political strife sometimes leads to giant portions of the city being nuked. And just outside the walls lies the Cursed Earth, nuclear wasteland as far as the eye can see.
Silent Hill (Silent Hill Series)
There are some common features in every Silent Hill videogame. Fog as think as soup, monsters that reflect your own twisted fears and guilt, heavy occult activity, and endings that usually result in the protagonist losing his or her mind or dying. In any case, if you ever find yourself in Silent Hill, just run. Don’t investigate the weird occurrences or the strange people. You’ll go down a rabbit hole filled with twisted human bodies, Pyramid Heads, and psychotic individuals looking to sacrifice you to their psychosis-spurned evil gods.
Maybe there’s another reason besides Energon that the Autobots, Decepticons, Maximals, and Predicons keep coming to Earth. Their home of Cybertron is a nightmare. It’s been undergoing a civil war for millions of years, killing billions of Transformers locked in battle. Not only that, this never-ending war has depleted the planet of its resources, forcing its inhabitants to seek life-sustaining fuel across the universe. That means that literally anywhere else in the universe is a safer place to live! If Optimus Prime can’t prevent himself from being killed dozens of times over the decades, what hope do you have of surviving, fleshling?
Other World (Coraline)
The Other World is a copy of your life, only with everything you dislike about it made to be so much better and all the residents having buttons for eyes. But it’s all a lie. The Beldame has made it to gain your loyalty and trust so that you will embrace her instead of your real parents. And just when you trust her, she’ll sow buttons in your eyes, eat your body, and cast away your soul. The Other World may give children the chance to live a life they’ve always wanted, with nicer parents and fun neighbors, but it’s an evil trap. Whatever you do, listen to the mice: Don’t go through the tiny door in your new home.